Appreciate your spouse and put them first. The kids wouldn’t be there without your spouse and in the future your kids will leave you, leaving just you and your spouse again.
Maintain, nurture and focus on your relationship. The best gift you can give your kids are happy parents who are still in love with each other. They feel secure because they see mom and dad still connected and they learn what a healthy relationship looks like. Advice from my amazing cousin Jaymee.
I’m so grateful for her advice and this reminder because the Bible tells us to put our marriage first. And for good reason. It also gives us advice on intimacy (Yes the Bible talks about sex, God created it after all!) If we don’t keep it healthy and maintained, what kind of household will we have to raise our kids in?
[For all things Marriage Advice check out the Podcast A Fight Worth Fighting]
James 3:6 NLT
I don’t know about you mommas but it’s so easy to put the husband on the back burner! These kids require soooo much attention and by the end of the day what do you have left to give?!
“Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
1 Corinthians 7:5 NLT
This is super hard for me because quite frankly I don’t feel as sexy as I used to before the baby, Niko sleeps with us half the night and when is there time for being spontaneous!! Plus! We live with my parents right now while our house is being built! 🤣 but intimacy is vital and God calls us to make it a priority. I dare you to challenge yourself. Take the initiative with your spouse. Maybe 3 times a week? Maybe everyday for a month?????!! Let’s see how it will transform relationships💃🏻💏
Here are a few things that get me going!
1) Get dressed, shower, put your makeup on, AND maybe even your nicest yoga pants! Ha.
But no really, if I can throw a little makeup on my face before my husband gets home, I feel 100 times more confident! Yes I know I’m beautiful either way- blah blah blah- BUT I personally feel so much better about myself when I take time to do these little things! Sometimes when I’ve had a super busy day and I don’t get around to the whole makeup thing, I notice myself being on edge and feeling like I want to hide. Taking care of yourself is going to get you feeling flirty and sexy.
2) Get Active! You do not have to make it to the gym everyday in order to get active!
If you have little ones at home I doubt that is even realistic for you, I know its not for me. So you’re just going to have to figure it out! Use your baby as a weight! Go for a walk! Do anything! If you can get it done before noon you are going to improve your mood, feel accomplished, and get stronger and more fit! Even if you do not see fitness results, who cares! You’re going to be a happier and healthier person for your family! And I can guarantee that you will be more likely to be in the mood! One thing that burns tons of calories and that my family LOVES to do together is go for a hike!
MY ADVICE TO MEN: take time to give your wife spontaneous affection.
Go in for a long hug. Rub her shoulders. Tickle her when you are making dinner. Look for ways to make her laugh and lighten the mood. Sometimes we get stuck in our heads and stressed out by the time you get home from work. We are likely to take it out on you just because we may be tired by the end of the day. Lighten up the atmosphere. Tell us your best joke. Flirt with us. Pull out a board game and make it a family game night. Do this on the daily and see how much more often we are “in the mood’!
“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.”
Proverbs 5:18-19 NLT
Check out this awesome article to hear more about “Why Sex Matters”: God wants you to have the feel-good hormones released in your body to make marriage easier. It’s like a free mini-vacation—why wouldn’t you go?
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